Goodbye

I close my eyes, so I don't see you leave.

 I bite my tongue, so I won't tell you to stay.

 I clasp my hands, so I can't reach for you.

 I stand here, so you can find me.

I wait, so you can return.

I breathe, so life will go on...


"As You Turn Away" - Lady Antebellum
The perfect song to accompany this blog.

The Hardest Thing...Pretending

"We both know that I shouldn't be here
This is wrong
And, baby, it's killing me, it's killing you
Both of us tryin' to be strong
I've got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
And someone else who loves me
And trusts me fast asleep
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that

Chorus :
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye and tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry
I can't let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied and my heart's not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you

I know that we'll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life
I've got to be cruel to be kind
Like Dr. Zhivago
All my love I'll be sending
And you will never know
'Cause there can be no happy ending

Chorus

Maybe another time, another day
As much as I want to, I can't stay
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that"

-98 Degrees (The Hardest Thing)


I shouldn't say more than this...

My Highs and Lows

Lately, I've been on a rollercoaster of emotions. I have been on a high for the past couple of days. Today, I am dropping down to another low. It's frustrating that I can't keep myself from falling.

Happiness is not constant. It will fluctuate like everything else in life, but happiness should never drop below a certain point. I've been below that point, and I have a hard time finding things to lift me back up. I know I am in control of my happiness...

An important part of being happy is being honest to others and myself.

Honestly, I am not as happy as I should be. Am I not grateful or appreciative enough of what I have? I don't know...

Hopefully, I will figure it all out soon. Until then, I am a sad panda...

:-(