Letting Love Go

I got sick this week and yesterday I took a day off to recover. He got off work and didn't consider visiting his sick gf. He had plan on sleeping over Thurs becuz he had volleyball game and has to sleep early. It was convenient to stay at my place. I was bothered and sent him some moody pms text about how he doesn't care and this relationship is to kill time. He agreed and decided to break up with me by deleting things off his fb and Instagram. How fucking immature is that? I freaked out and texted him. He finally unravelled and revealed how we are sexually incompatible and that we want different things in life (e.g. kids and husband) I had a sense he didn't care as much. In my moment of weakness I mentioned that I love him. I think that's why I'm butt hurt by his willingness to give all of this up. 

Tonight he brought my things and key back. I told him he can leave it in my patio. I was hoping he would knock on my door and want to work things out but I was being too hopeful. 

I think this is for the best. I'm more ready to let go this time compared to before. It was a nice two months. I hope he regrets what he let go. 

I know damn straight I'm worth it. He was too immature to see it. He had other priorities in life and I wouldn't have been happy living that way. 

Letting another love go. On to happier beginnings. 

Getting Through PMS

I realized that every month it gets hard to deal with my relationship. I am pessimistic about every aspect of it. I distance myself and I think the worst of him. It's terrible...

If I can make it through about a week of it then everything is dandy. When I get to see him, things do get more positive. 

For example, this week I was feeling like crap. I felt my life was the same way. I didn't see my boo since Sunday and I didn't think I would see him until Saturday. He did come by Thursday night and made me feel a whole lot better. By Friday and the weekend, I was a happy camper. Today while at his place, I wrote 8 little sweet messages on sticky pads and placed it around for him to find when he gets home. He loved it. 

There were many random times where those 3 little words wanted to come out but I held my tongue. I want him to feel it without any ideas from me. I don't know if he would ever say it but I am content waiting it out. It'll be worth the wait!