Taking a Moment

Last night I had my moment... All my emotions I've been holding in came out as tears. I shook in sobs and I tried to keep it silent. He was sleeping next to me and he never knew how distraught I was or have been. I see no purpose in sharing and I doubt he even cares.

Lately, I've been keeping myself busy and hiding my weaknesses. My life would fall apart if I fell apart, so I had to hold myself together as well.

Taking time to have these moments allows me to unload and then gather myself together again. For the sake of others and myself, I need to keep my life going.

I continue to pray...

Weddings

I attended a wedding recently, which brought back mixed feelings.

I love going to weddings because it is such a joyous occasion, but at the same time it reminds me of how my marriage is the kind of the opposite. 

As I observed the couple's embraces, kisses, lovey dovey, and mushiness, I thought about how much of it was real.

Our wedding day was the weakness point of our relationship. Although it was all a show, I was actually happy that day. Who wouldn't be happy to see all their families and friends they haven't seen in a while. It didn't even matter what we were celebrating. Once everyone left and the party was over, we went back to the reality of our marriage. I wish the happiness was more than a day...