I've been trying really hard to sympathize when he avoids me for more than a day.
It's best for him to not be in this kind of relationship. I know I've hurt him enough, and he deserves to be happier. It's best for him in the long run. He will be happier without me. I have to let him go, even though my heart is protesting. I have to hide how I feel...how sad I am and how much I miss him dearly. I have to hold it back and all the tears. We will both get over these rough times soon, and it will hurt less. We can't even be friends right now either. I understand that, as much as I want him around. I can't expect anything from him anymore. I can't expect him to be there. I can't have the same expectations I have a friend. I need to stop caring about him as much as I do, because it would drive me insane. He will eventually not care anymore, and I need to stop too.
The idea of stopping myself from caring and loving him, makes me sad. Love is such a precious thing to ever end, and we have to end it. I know I will always love him but it won't be the same again once it's over.
*sighs*
I'm waiting for this time to pass. I don't want to deal with this much heartbreak. I know things happen for a reason, and I hope I don't regret my decision.
