I am F.I.N.E.

F.I.N.E. = Feelings Inside Not Expressed or Frustrated, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional

I am not comfortable in telling him how I am feeling. I don't know why. Maybe I think it doesn't matter for him to know. He rarely asks how I feel, even when he knows I'm upset. I figure he just doesn't care to know.

Well my feelings have not changed since the previous post. I think it has gotten worse with little, everyday irritations with him. I avoid him as much as possible when I am in a bad mood, and it may not necessarily because of him.

We rarely spend time together when we do have time. For example, today he spent almost the whole day in front of his computer in the office. He probably did some work but it was mostly playing games, watching movies/shows, and football drafting. The little munchkin wanted to go to play outside, and he didn't even have time for that.

I made lunch and did my own thing. I had some M.E. time, and then took the little guy to the park. It was nice to get away from the house and him. My mind was more at ease, not thinking about anything but enjoying the day.

Honestly, I hate to admit that I would leave this relationship if I find happiness somewhere else. My feelings are still not as strong as they should be...

In the meantime, I am F.I.N.E.