I Wish I Felt the Same

"2 years ago today I got to marry my best friend :) what a wonderful 2 years it has been and man have they flown! (Insert husband's name), I love you more today then I did that day ♥ thank you for making me fall in love with you every day :) happy anniversary my love! here's to many more :) " 

I took this from a friend's facebook status. I see quite a few of these with similar magnitude of affection. When I read this, I realized I can't even say this to him, and about our relationship. I wish I felt as much love as she does about her husband, but I just don't. It's quite sad how my feelings have changed over time from all the things we have gone through. I guess the only good thing I can say is that our relationship haven't gotten worse, nor better. It's kind of existing, day by day, with some minor ups and downs. Maybe one day, a flood of feelings will come back to me and we will be happy again. Maybe this is why I am still here, holding on.

Less

I talk less.

I miss less.

I care less.

I love less.

Not a good sign, but how do I change that?

Blue Kite

Strolling by a tree, I spotted a bright, blue kite tangled in the branches.
The string dangled down low enough to reach it.
I pulled, I tugged, and I wiggled.
It loosen between the branches,
And moved down closer.
A slight sense of hope.
Still entrapped, I yanked at it some more.
The more I pulled, the more it resisted.
Now, it was hopeless.
With a sigh, I let go.
So silly for me to even hold on,
Because it was never mine to begin with.
I walked away...
Maybe I will see the kite again.

Enchanted to Meet You

You never know who you will meet. Someone who may change your views, beliefs, feelings, and life.

Smile at every stranger that may pass you by. Get to know that person you have never thought about.

I was enchanted to meet you...

Some Days Stay Gold Forever

"We're standing in a light that won't fade,
Tomorrow's coming but this won't change,
Cause some days stay gold forever.
The memory of being here with you,
Is one I'm gonna take my life through,
Cause some days stay gold forever.

I won't, I won't let your memory go cause your colors they burn so bright,
Who knows, who knows what tomorrow will hold but I know that we'll be alright

Butterflies, butterflies..we were meant to fly,
You and I, you and I..colors in the sky,
We could rule the world someday, somehow but we'll never be as bright as we are now."
- The Wanted "Gold Forever"

This is my current theme song!
I love the message in these lyrics, and the mention of "butterflies" is extra kudos.
It makes me look at my current situation and my whole life in a more optimistic light. I feel happier when I hear this song.


*dances, twirls, flaps my wings*

Playing on my Mood Swing

I'm pushing myself on my mood swing with these ridiculous thoughts!
Frustrated with myself! I shouldn't care! I should just let it go! I should just accept it! But here I am dwelling on these hopeless thoughts of mine! Why do I even bother?

After I'm done being angry and frustrated with myself, I will go and sulk about it. Maybe for a slight moment, I will appreciate all that is good. Once I'm over that, I will go back to being upset at myself because I am not over it yet.

I'm swinging back and forth through these emotions, and it's just foolishness!
Aaarrrgggghhhhhh!

Nevertheless, all of these thoughts and emotions shall remain contained. They do more harm than good, so I rather be the only one who knows.

Forever & Always

I will love you forever.
I will love you always.

It's the romantic love mutually expressed between two individuals. I have heard these words and I have used them before. I observed and experienced how love can falter and break, so I no longer believe such love can last forever and always. Those who have spent almost their whole life together "in love" are exceptions, right? I am skeptical of their bond, but maybe I've grown to be a pessimist in that area.

I believe in my love for others and things, and some of those can be everlasting.

I do not believe in you and your "forever and always."