A New Year...

Here we are in 2012.
Status: Married

Does this new year means a new beginning for us? Hmmm...maybe.

Last summer was awful, but we continued with our wedding plans. I made myself believe things will be better once we're "happily married." Well was I bullshitting myself. Being married takes on a new title, more obligations, and more expectations, which we were both not prepared for.

He f****ed up again a couple of weeks before our wedding ceremony, after a trip to Reno for his bachelor party. I am not going to relive those feelings by writing about it here, but I cried every time I thought about it. He did not cheat, but what he did made me question his loyalty and his love. How can I marry someone I doubt even loves me or has eyes for other girls?

Somehow I was able to move on from that heartbreak, forced myself to finish all the wedding plans, and convinced myself to marry this guy. "Maybe our relationship will be better...Things will be different...I will be happy again..."

Besides checking out the girl's photos a couple of months ago, he hasn't done anything really stupid since then. (btw, it's the same girl we had issues over last summer) I just ignored it because I can't do anything about it, and he will probably give me another one of his lame excuse. He's better at hiding things and covering his tracks now for sure. He deletes his texts and history on his laptop. What I don't see, won't hurt me right?

Okies, he has turned me into a psycho woman who goes through his phone and laptop. Don't blame me for my crazy behaviors, because he was the one who made me lose trust.

Less trust leads to less love and more problems!
Welcome to married life!