Biting My Tongue

I realized I've been opening my mouth too much and sharing more of myself than I should. It puts me into undesirable situations sometimes, which occurred in this case.

I tend to reciprocate the openness of the other person. The more they share, the more I feel comfortable in sharing as well. In this current situation, I've decided it would be best to "bite my tongue". I have to censor the things I say from now on, including my blogs to some extent.

I catch myself often, and I'm learning to replace it with a nod and smile. I will have to find another outlet for those thoughts. Perhaps a more private journal or share them with Secret Bear. :-)




Not a bad sacrifice to keep things at "peace."

Only In Dreams

"...Only in dreams
We see what it means.
Reach out our hands.
Hold onto hers.
But when we wake
It's all been erased.
And so it seems
Only in dreams..."
-Weezer

I should be sleeping...

But I am sad...

Signs

Most of the time people go with their natural instincts when acting. What happens when someone intentionally ignores it in order to do what they want?

I have learned to interpret some of my signs to exactly what they mean. For example, what does it mean when I get fluttering butterflies in my stomach with certain thoughts? I shall remain vague on the details so try to follow along. After a couple of incidences, I hypothesize the meaning of those butterflies. It had occurred many times after and my hypothesis continues to hold true.

I know the meaning of those butterflies...

Now some of you might try to guess what the meaning may be, but it's not what you would normally expect.

Knowing what I know, I am trying to ignore it. There is nothing I can do to change its meaning. I have tried, and the end results are the same. As optimistic as I can be, I can only live in those moments of flutters.

*heavy sighs...*

Where is the Love?

People are innately self centered and selfish. We are born with only one perspective and care only about our own needs. After a few years of life, we learn to care about others, empathize, and think from perspectives other than our own. We become less self centered and selfish to an extent, and some more than others.

I believe I have matured a lot in those aspects. After having JC, my life revolves around him most of the time. I love and care about my families and friends. I try to stay in touch with them and find out what's happening in their lives as often as possible. I would miss them if I don't.

Then there are some who do not feel the same way. They don't care to keep in touch or they are too busy with their own lives to care. That saddens me. They go M.I.A. and leave me wondering, worrying and missing them. Apparently, they do not care about me either.

To those who are self centered and selfish, I can only wish you the best wherever you are. I will be here if you need me and care for me as well.

Spread the L O V E

Good-bye, You.

To keep my personal matters more discreet, I shall use an analogy to express my current feelings and concerns.

I love Girls Scout cookies thin mints! *drools* After the first bite, I cannot resist. I will reach for another one after another one. I can't just have one. You are addictive like you are laced with crack. You make me happy with every crunch. As delicious as you are, I know you can't be good for me especially in large quantities. I want to stop eating you, but at the same time I don't want to stop. Ooooooh the dilemma!

Maybe I can continue eating you without the health risks or feeling guilty if I work out. What if I don't work out enough to make up for the amount I eat? Maybe I can control myself and eat you in moderation? Although, I doubt I can. What happens when I run out and you're not there? I would have terrible withdrawals! What shall I do?

The best solution I can think of is to avoid you completely.

I will miss you and long for you dearly, but I cannot let myself fall into this self-destructive addiction

Good-bye, you.