'Tis the Season

I love the holidays and the whole atmosphere of generosity. Around town you hear about toys and food drives, coats for kids, donations for the salvation army, etc. Everyone is shopping for gifts to give to family and friends. It's wonderful to give as it is to receive.

Some people lose sight of what this season is about. They focus on a list of things they want rather than a list of what to give others. I don't want to hear what you want me to get you. You should be grateful I'm getting you anything at all. Wasn't Thanksgiving enough to remind us this year to be thankful for what we have and receive.

Growing up, my siblings and I didn't get much during Christmas and they were always practical things. We were not spoiled like most kids nowadays. As I grew up and finally had money to buy things for myself, I enjoyed giving presents. It made up for the lack there of during childhood.

Remember, 'tis the season to give.

I Miss My Honey

Is my honeymoon phase over already? No, I'm not talking about the romantic getaway after marriage. I'm talking about the very beginning of a relationship, where it was coated with sugar, spice, and everything nice. A time where you can't bare to part from your "other half" and you think about him/her every 10 minutes when you're away. You run up your cellphone minutes or texts. You call each other all the possible cutesy nicknames. You leave little messages dotted with X's and O's all over the place. You doll yourself up and go out at least once a week. PDA's become natural as breathing. I'm sure you get my point now. Everyone who has or is in a relationship know what I'm talking about.

The honeymoon phase is such a gradual transition. You don't realize it until one day you're sitting around on the couch with hair all nappy and no makeup...it's over! The notes lying around are grocery lists. The lovely flowers you used to get just because got replaced with fake ones. Conversations over the phone become short and sweet. All the sugar and cherries on top are gone. Relationships change and hopefully for everyone it's bitter sweet.

I welcome the growth and maturity of the relationship but miss the "honey". Couples shouldn't lose sight of the romance, because keeping the spark alive is essential to a healthy relationship. Life has gotten so busy that sometimes we take little things for granted, such as a kiss good morning or a random text in the middle of the day to let you know you were thought of.

Reminder to self and others: keep the honeymoon phase alive!

Wrong Turn?

If I can go back in time to that fork in the road, I would pick the other road instead of the one I have chosen.

The road I am on right now is a tad bumpy at times, but it's not like I hate it. I wonder what it would be like on the other road and where it would have led to. Would I have been happier?

I'll never know...

It bothers me that I would even have such thought of not wanting to be on this path.

I just can't lie to myself or anyone else that I'm completely happy with my decision.

Maybe I did make the wrong turn at that fork or maybe not.

Anger Management

When I get super angry and frustrated, I tend to punch things. I guess it's a way for me to release some of it. I'm in such a strong state of anger that the intense throbbing pain in my knuckles don't even bother me. I haven't broken anything yet...no walls, mirrors, nor my own bones.

Perhaps I need a less destructive way to channel out such emotions. I've tried writing, but that gets me more upset since I would be thinking about it more. Crying helps too, and it usually happens after my punching. Venting is not a good idea either since I don't want to talk to anyone during the climax of my emotions.

As you can see, I am not left with many options.

I Win The Bet

I found this post from my old blog site from January 21, 2007:

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The Bet

The other night I was discussing a bet with my roomie.

She claims the reason to why we're both single is that we have not settled for someone but rather we're pursuing or waiting for our dream guy. Her pessimism has her believing that such guy does not exist but I disagree. I am currently waiting for the one guy that I absolutely adore and my feelings would be mutually returned. The bet is that if we don't find Him by the time we're 28, we will have to settle for someone else who we would have to learn to care for. This would confirm her belief of a nonexistent dream guy, and I would lose the bet.

I have 5 more years so I will stay hopeful...

I know he's out there...just a lil lost (like how all boys are) getting to me."

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Roomie, I win the bet.

I did not settle or at least I believe I didn't.

My feelings for him started out like most guys I dated, but strangely I did not get a flutter of butterflies in my tummy feeling. I waited for that moment but it never came even though my feelings got stronger. I realized he was different. I was inseparable from this guy and I could see him in my future, long term. Well it appears that it's going to be true. He is my dream guy.

But am I his dream girl? Did he settle? I may never know...

The "Good" Old Days

I feel old. My age reminds me how fast the clock is ticking, but everyone tells me I am still young. My life is settling down and I have more responsibilities now. I'm grateful for the life I live, but sometimes I miss my carefree days.

Life of a single, young woman: go anywhere and do anything.

I would be up and about all night and even days. I would be traveling everywhere, meeting new people, doing the craziest things. It was fun, but tiring and full of drama too.

I guess that lifestyle did have some downsides. It's funny how I wanted to settle down when I was living those days.

Maybe I get bored too easily and I always want what I can't have.

Speaking of settling, it will be the topic of my next entry.

For You to Keep

This is a semi-private blog page or at least an anonymous one. If you happen to stumble upon this site, read it as if I'm confiding in you.

Do not judge me solely on the things you read here either. These are snippets of my thoughts and emotions, or simply a literary expression. It may or may not be who I am or how my life is. Interpret my words however you want.

You are welcome to read my blogs and comment, but please do not let these words escape this page.

Thanks.

Lets begin...